I was lucky enough to make a few friends my first semester of college. We ended up hanging out quite a bit during those early months.

We’d all get excited for the weekends because Friday nights meant going out to party. Everyone except for Anna, that is.

Anna was quiet, shy, and a definitely a goody-two-shoes. She was from Alabama and spoke with a pronounced southern drawl I’d rarely heard in Maryland. She was reserved but friendly once you got to know her. Anna cared about school a lot. She was almost always studying whenever I saw her.

Every Friday night we’d make plans to go out together and party. But Anna would always refuse to come. She’d say something along the lines of “I have to study” or “I just don’t feel like it tonight.”

Eventually, we stopped inviting Anna out. Everyone except Alexei.

I liked Alexei the most in our friend group. He was valedictorian of his high school, played tennis at a competitive level, and was remarkably smart. If anyone deserved to have an ego, it was Alexei. Yet somehow he managed to be the kindest person I’d ever known. But my absolute favorite thing about Alexei was that he always invited Anna to come party with us.

One Friday night as we were all about to leave the dorms for a house party, Alexei stopped us. “Hold on, let’s invite Anna.” We headed over to her dorm and invited her to come with us. She said “Sorry, I have to study for my Arabic exam next week, but you guys have fun.”

Alexei continued to invite Anna every time we went out for the rest of the semester. And Anna said no every single time.

Curious about his persistence, I asked him “Why do you keep inviting Anna out when she’ll just say no?”

I’ll never forget what he told me: “I know she’s always going to say no, but that’s not the point. I invite her out so she’ll always feel included in the group.”

After that first semester, the friend group disbanded and we all went our separate ways. Many years later I ran into Anna and we ended up catching up. She told me how difficult her first semester of college had been. She was very close with her mom and sister and missed them them terribly.

But then she said something that stayed with me: She was grateful. She was grateful to be part of that brief friend group because she felt like she had a family away from home. And that even though she never partied with us, she always felt included because we would stop by her room and invite her anyway.